“Actually none, because the invite is only for two and since there are three of us, one of us can't go.” Sun-hop said.
Doughnut made a pouty face. “So why is that me? How come I'm the one who doesn't get to go? That isn't fair at all.”
“You could turn invisible and go.” Noople suggested.
Doughnut stuck out her tongue and raspberried. “No. That stinks. That's like not going. What's the point of going to a party if no one sees you're there?”
Sun-hop crossed his arms over his chest. “The point, my ghostly friend, is to get two apples. We're not going to this party for fun or to be seen, we are going to steal two apples. If it's you who is the goddess of arrows and not Noople, that's just fine. How good are you at firing a bow?”
“What? No! That's still not fair. How about Noople and I go and you stay behind?” Doughnut asked.
Sun-hop took a deep breath. “No. I gotta go to this party. It's important that I am part of the trick. I gotta show these gods that they got nothing on us monkeys. We monkeys are proud and they have unfairly insulted us! If you two get us the apples and I don't have any part in the heist then what have I proved? Nothing. I gotta be part of the action to prove monkeys are not to be messes with!”
Doughnut made another raspberry with her tongue. “But you’re not going as you! You’re going in disguise, so that doesn’t even make any sense.”
“What if Doughnut is the feathers and I am the arrowhead?” Noople asked.
“What?” Both Sun-hop and Doughnut exclaimed.
“We’ll be two people that are actually one god. She's the back end of the arrow - the feathers, and I'm the front end - the arrowhead.” Noople explained.
“Cool! Two equals one!” Said Doughnut, flying in a circle. “And because I fly it totally makes sense. My costume will be a bunch of feathers that cover my whole body. We do get to make costumes, right?”
“Absolutely. We will construct our own costumes.” Said Noople.
“But you're still two guests. This invite is only for two. How do all three of us get in? That still doesn't make any sense.” Sun-hop furrowed his eyebrows.
“No, no. We're a god. It's fine. You'll see.” Doughnut waved her hand. “Now where do we make our costumes?”
Sun-hop shrugged. “Why are you looking at me? Do I look like a tailor to you?”
“Because we just got here. Is there like a costume shop or something up here?” Doughnut asked.
“No. But the Empress of the clouds does have a costume room.” Sun-hop paced a circle in the clouds. “We could sneak in there and make our costumes. Double trick! We steal her costumes and then we steal her apples!”
Doughnut spun. Noople pumped her fist. Sun-hop did a back flip. They all chanted. “Double trick! Double trick!”
The three friends sauntered to the castle. Near the front door there were four guards with long, sharp spears. They paused, hid behind a white wisp of cloud and whispered.
“Even if we could fight them and win, they'd sound the alarm and everybody inside the castle would come rushing out.” Sun-hop explained.
“But you're the best fighter in the world!” Doughnut protested.
“Yeah, but if I kill all the gods, who is gonna pick me two apples?” Sun-hop asked. “And believe me, once I start fighting the killing just keeps going. That won’t prove that monkeys are awesome - it will just prove what everyone already knows, that I’m the best fighter in the world.”
“Well there won't be any guards left to stop you.” Doughnut offered.
“We can't pick them. If you're not a god, they literally don't come off the tree for you. They're stuck.” Sun-hop said. “Magic.”
They walked around the castle. Near the back gate, there were four more guards with even sharper spears. When they had almost made a full circle, Doughnut pointed out a slightly open window on the second floor. She turned invisible and flew up. Noople and Sun-hop waited on the clouds.
Two minutes passed.
“Is it possible that the guards have captured her?” Noople asked.
Sun-hop picked at his teeth with his tiny magic stick. He started to answer but at that very moment, a rope came tumbling down out of the open window. With all the speed they could muster, the cat and the monkey clambered up the rope.
Inside, the room was dark and it took their eyes some time to adjust. When they could see, it was clear that they were in a potato storage room.
“Who the heck has a whole room just for storing potatoes?” Sun-hop asked.
“Well, the cloud Empress, I guess.” Doughnut ventured.
A guard poked his head into the room. “Hey! Who is in here? Is that one of the kitchen staff? I didn't see potatoes on the menu for lunch. What are you doing in there.”
Sun-hop hid behind a sack of purple potatoes. Doughnut turned invisible again. Noople, ducking behind a heap of red potatoes, cleared her throat. “Well, the cloud Empress sent down written orders that she desires mashed potatoes so I am fetching the necessary materials. Do you have a problem with that?”
The guard peered deeper into the room. “I can't see you. Where are you?”
Noople yelled. “I am literally shoulder deep in potatoes! Now exit or I will inform the Empress you delayed her from her desired meal plan!”
The guard yelped and ran away. The three friends giggled and left the room. They walked down a hallway and saw three doors. Behind the first was a sewing room. Behind the second was an art room. Behind the third was the costume room. They silently cheered and crept into the costume room, shutting the door behind them. The one room was the size of Zoughnut’s entire house. There were massive closets full of costumes, ornate bronze trunks full of masks, carved wooden boxes full of gloves, gleaming silver bins full of hats, gold trays full of makeup, and heaps scarves so high that it would take two days to count them all.
Within no time, Doughnut was covered in feathers and Noople was wearing a pointed hat. Sun-hop looked around and kicked a few scarves around.
Noople found a red satin jacket, slipped it on, and smiled as wide as a feasting snake. “What suit does the god of riddles wear?”
Sun-hop threw a scarf in the air. “I dunno. That's exactly the question I'm asking myself but I just don't know. I guess I should look like a riddle but what the heck do riddles look like? They are made of words, right? You can't wear words, can you?”
“Yes you can.” Doughnut tossed a white pair of pants at Sun-hop. “Put those on.”
Noople snatched the pants away from Sun-hop and ran off to the sewing room. “I'll be right back, find him a white shirt, a white jacket, and a white top hat.”
“What? Why?” Sun-hop stamped his foot. Within moments, Doughnut had him dressed in a white shirt, a white jacket, a white hat, and even a white tie.
Noople came back in and threw the pants to Doughnut. She had cut a hole for Sun-hop’s tail. He slid on the pants and looked in a mirror. “What about socks and shoes?”
As he was finishing the question, a pair of white shoes and socks hit him in the back. He whipped around. Noople was giggling.
“Why did you throw those at me?” Sun-hop asked. “And why am I wearing all white? What the heck does white have to do with riddles?”
Noople and Doughnut disappeared into the art supply room. When they returned, they were carrying a bucket of black sharpies. They ran over to Sun-hop and immediately began writing all over his white clothes. He froze. “What the heck?”
“We’re covering you in riddles!” Doughnut explained.
Sun-hop laughed. “Oh. Awesome!”
He stood still and within 10 minutes his shoes, socks, shirt, tie, jacket, and hat were all covered in riddles. He looked in the mirror and nodded in approval. “It's amazing. But I feel like something is missing.” Her wandered around the room. From out of a trunk of belts he pulled a white belt. “Perfection!”
Doughnut ran over and scrawled a final riddle on the belt. When Sun-hop put the belt on, the outfit was complete and they all crooned in appreciation. At that moment, they heard a group of guards coming down the hallway, talking about potatoes.
“Quick, hide in the scarves!” Noople shouted and dove into the pile.
Sun-hop jumped into a trunk and closed the lid.
Doughnut turned invisible.
“There was someone in the potato room.” There were footsteps. “They said the Cloud Empress wanted mashed potatoes.” More footsteps. The sound of trunks opening and closing. “Well then why are we looking in here? Let’s go to the potato room!” Exiting footsteps.
Noople emerged from the pile, Sun-hop exited the trunk, and Doughnut became visible. They exchanged glances and then snuck into the hallway. The door to the potato room was open. Doughnut flew in silently.
The guards were knee deep in potatoes, rummaging. The rope was still tied to a bag of russets that sat below the windowsill. Doughnut picked up a potato and flew back out the door. “When I throw the potato, make a run for the window. The guards are in there but they haven’t noticed the rope or us, apparently.”
Noople started to ask a question but Doughnut fluttered away and hucked the potato. It landed with a thunk in a far corner, causing a small but significant potato avalanche. The guards immediately scrambled to investigate. Noople and Sun-hop sprinted through the room and practically jumped out the window. Doughnut was so surprised by their speed she nearly forgot to escape, and spent a moment staring out the window. Then, just as one of the guards was turning around, she flew out the window.
Her friends were already down on the ground, smiling up at her. She floated down.
“Nice escape plan.” Sun-hop said, slapping her on the back cheerfully. “Now, let’s hustle to that party in our sweet, sweet, costumes.”
They started to walk around the castle, and quickly heard the chatter and noise of a huge crowd. Soon they saw a cast of characters so diverse, so shiny, and so absurd, they knew they had stumbled across the line of god’s waiting to get into the party. The line, more accurately described as a pulsing horde, was huge.
“It shall be a long wait to get inside.” Noople observed.
“Nonsense. We just need a distraction and we will cut in line. Doughnut, come up with something clever.” Sun-hop said flatly.
Doughnut smiled and bowed. She turned invisible.
“What is she going to do?” Noople asked.
Sun-hop shrugged. “Who cares? She’s clever. Let’s get close so we can take the opportunity when it arises!” They jogged in close.
Near the front gates, the line was a tight formation. As they got close, several of the gods gave them solid frowns. Noople was about to strike up a conversation with the least unfriendly looking god when there was a loud outburst of laughter. Everyone turned to look. They shifted and shimmied to see what was happening.
“This is our chance. Let’s cut in line.” Sun-hop grabbed Noople and dragged her into a spot in line.
There was another burst of laughter.
“What is happening over there?” Noople craned her neck to try and see.
“Forget it. We got our space in line. Look, we’re next!” Sun-hop said, moving forward towards the guards.
“But where is Doughnut?” Noople asked, looking around desperately for her friend,
Noople felt a poke on her shoulder and then Doughnut, fully costumed, appeared floating right by her ear. “No problem. Tickle distraction accomplished.
“Your invite?” The guard asked.
Sun-hop handed over the invite. “One god of riddles and one goddess of arrows.”
The guard looked at the three of them, looked at the invite, and then at Sun-hop. “This invite is for two.” The guard said.
“Yep. And there are two of us. The goddess of arrows comes in two pieces - arrowhead and feathers.” Doughnut said.
The guard let out a heavy sigh. “Ok. Whatever. Go inside.”
The two gods, made of three people, slipped inside the castle. The first thing they noticed was the snack table. There were seven different kinds of strawberries, fourteen kinds of mellon, twenty one varieties of bean dip, and an entire table full of an uncountable variety of chips.
They snacked for 10 minutes, occasionally nodding and shaking hands with random gods. An all blue man with a tiger head bumped into Sun-hop. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t see you there. Those square strawberries really are delicious, aren’t they?” The tiger ears flickered. “Which god are you? I don’t think we’ve met before.”
“Riffles.” Sun-hop tried to say with a mouth full of fruit. He swallowed. “Riddles.”
“Oh.” The blue tiger god said. “I always thought you wore black.”
There was some shouting outside. Sun-hop wandered back over to the entrance, munching on a handful of green crescent moon shaped chips that tasted like mint chocolate.
“There he is! Imposter! The fake god of riddles wears white clothes! The real god of riddles wears black!” The actual god of riddles was shouting from the entrance.
Sun-hop stood up tall, shoved his way toward the conversation, and swallowed his chips. “The real god of riddles is already at the party and the fake god of riddles is 15 minutes late.”
“Get out here and duel me!” The actual god of riddles shouted.
Sun-hop smiled. “Of course!” He walked outside and pulled out his magic staff. “I am ready to fight. Nothing would please me more than to smack you up and down this lawn like a golf ball.”
The real god snorted. “Look at this fool. He's no riddle god. He wants to fight me with a stick.”
Sun-hop leaned on his staff. “Not at all, my angry friend. This stick merely gives me something to lean on while I think of a good riddle.”
“Think! You need to think to come up with a riddle? The real god of riddles is made of riddles! I am nothing but riddles! There is no thinking! There is only riddling!” The god shouted.
“You sound more like the god of anger than the god of riddles to me. If you're so riddled with riddles, why are you screaming all the time?” Sun-hop asked.
The god of riddles ground his teeth together and clenched his fists. “I stomp but have no feet, I yell but have no voice, what am I?”
Sun-hop twirled his stick around in a circle. “You are anger.”
The god of riddles jumped up and down. “Yes I am!”
Noople, Doughnut, and the real goddess of arrows came stumbling out of the party. There was pushing, shoving, and shouting. “Who are you? How dare you dress like me! I demand a duel, now!”
The god of riddles stepped in the middle of the fight and held up his hands for quiet. “I can fill a room and make no sound. I can make you cry while all lips stay still. I can fill your head when you search for a word. What am I?”
Sun-hop pushed Noople and Doughnut to one side with his stick and moved the goddess of arrows to the other side with his foot. “You are silence.”
The god of riddles nodded.
The goddess of arrows stepped back into the argument. “I demand truth and justice! These two fools are imitating my holiness, spoiling my good name, and mocking my costume! The only solution is an archery contest!”
Noople grinned. “Yes! And if we win we get two apples.”
The goddess shrugged. “What? If you were truly a goddess you could pick your own apples whenever you want. You just admitted your own lies! As you are all my witness…”
Sun-hop poked the goddess in the belly with his stick. “When mine is done, I am yours. I am back and forth because we can't all go at once. What am I?”
The goddess stepped back. “Am I supposed to answer that?”
Noople shook her head. “Nope. You're supposed to wait. They're having their duel and we get to go next. Let the guy in black answer.” She pointed at the true god of riddles. “Well, what is he?”
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